What the F Was I Thinking?

I’m 51.  One of my favorite things is shopping.  Over the years I have bought a lot of stuff.  Whatever amount you are imagining, multiply that by 10 and you will still be way under how much stuff I have bought.  Many of the things I buy are needed and I use them often.  Other stuff…not so much.

I don’t know how or when it starts, but at some point, I will decide I need something.  I’m not talking about impulse purchases.  It’s not like I’m in the store and see it on sale and think I need it.  No, it’s much deeper than that.  I will decide I need it then try to convince myself I don’t.  But I can’t.  I continue thinking about it.  I might look around online, just to see how much it costs or where it’s available, then not buy it.  I will still be thinking about it though.  I add it to my list…but I still wait.  I finally buy it…only to use it once or never at all.

One example is a denim jumper.  I was picking my sons up from school one day, wearing jeans and a sweater.  I saw a woman picking up her child/children, wearing a denim jumper.  She looked adorable!  I didn’t look adorable.  I looked like I had put on the first thing I saw, which is exactly what I had done.  She looked put together.  It was like her attire was ‘intentional’.  Mine was not.  I needed a denim jumper.  I went to the store within a few days.  Holy Cow!  A denim jumper was like 5 times the cost of a pair of jeans!  I didn’t buy it, but couldn’t get it out of my mind.  It seemed like I kept seeing them wherever I went, but not so many that it became tiresome.  I ended up getting a gift card for my birthday and headed to the store.  I managed to find one on sale and it was long enough!  I’m 5’11” so that is a huge thing for me.  I bought it, washed and dried it, ironed it and wore it the next day.  I felt so adorable!  After school, I approached one of my sons’ teachers to ask her something.  The first thing out of her mouth was, “Oh!  You bought the uniform!” and she kinda giggled.  I took off my adorable denim jumper when I got home and put it in the Goodwill box.

When growing up, my mother had the Tupperware popsicle maker things.  I saw them at a yard sale one day and bought them.  The lady who sold them said they’d never been used.  How silly!  I got them washed, loaded up with grape juice and carefully set them in the icebox.  After they had frozen, I gave one to each of my three sons.  Within 10 minutes I had 3 purple boys and they had managed to touch EVERYTHING in sight.  I bathed them, put their clothes in the wash (the stains never came out) then wiped down every wall, table, etc. in our home, I thought back and realized that I never remembered us actually having made popsicles with those…  Same went for the little two-part pudding cup thingies.  I bought those and used them maybe once or twice…and assorted jelly molds and a food ‘garnishing’ kit that showed how to make radishes into roses.  I even planted radishes in my garden that year so I’d have plenty.

Most of that stuff either got donated or given away years ago, but some of it was still in the house when I left my idiot-ex.  I knew I didn’t need those things.  I wasn’t sure why I had to have them when I bought them, but now I am much older and wiser, right?

Buying something once and not using it is bad.  I’m not sure what you call it when you get rid of it then buy it again…and don’t use it again!

I am the proud owner of a bread machine that has been used once.  I had a bread machine many years ago and actually did use it a good bit in the beginning, but I realized that most often I was using it on ‘dough’ setting because I like bread-shaped bread.  I got a KitchenAid Stand Mixer and gave the bread machine to my sister.  And bought another one.  I still have my mixer.  It was pretty much the only ‘big’ thing, other than the washer and dryer, that I took when I moved.  But I ‘needed’ a bread machine.  It does help that I can bake bread without heating up the kitchen.  Living in the south, that is very important.  But I’ve only used it once…on the dough setting.

I also had a dehydrator that I left.  My idiot-ex used it often.  He was a hunter so he’d make jerky every year, but I had only used it once.  After leaving, I decided that I needed a dehydrator.  I haven’t used it.

I left a stove-top pressure cooker behind, having never used it.  I have to admit, I was kinda scared of it.  It was top-of-the-line for stove-top pressure cookers, but I saw a TV show (sitcom) that talked about them blowing up.  My idiot-ex used it, but I never did.  I decided that I needed an electric one!  Yes, that would be SO much safer.  And it came with an instruction booklet that also had recipes.  I’d save so much money by using dry beans instead of canned ones.  I even bought a crapton of dried beans.  Haven’t used it.

And the juicer, handheld mixer, rice steamers (both microwave and electric) and so on.

Stepping out of the kitchen and into The Diva Den, I had to have a Fiskars Fuse (Google it).  I finally found one on clearance and I had a gift card that covered a little over half the price!  It comes with a few ‘plates’ (I think 4?), but there are several others available.  I could never find any of the others though.  Then I found out why I got such a great deal on it.  They discontinued it.  Re-sellers must have bought up all the ‘plates’ because they are on eBay for like 5 times their original cost.  Ugh!

I had always wanted a knitting machine, but they were $$$.  I was at a store closing sale one day and saw one for $24.99.  It included an instructional video.  Woo Hoo!  I gave it away maybe 10 years later, having never taken it out of the box.  Then I got another one.  It was given to me by somebody who knew I wanted one, but didn’t know I had gotten one and given it away.  This one was a really nice one.  I gave it away also, after not using it for probably 10 years.

I do a lot of paper crafts.  Sewing on paper is a fun way to embellish a card or scrapbook page.  Doing it by hand sucks, but I didn’t want to risk messing up one of my sewing machines (yes, plural).  I saw a mini-sewing machine at the store that was less than $30.  I bought it, but when I got it home, I couldn’t get the tension right.  This caused the thread to keep bunching up and tearing the card stock.  Instead of taking it back right then, I put it in a drawer.  I don’t know why.  Maybe I thought it would heal???  I’ve never touched it again.

But I still wanted an easier way to sew on paper crafts.  I found a tool called Sew Easy.  It is a handle that you put a ‘head’ onto that can roll onto paper and card stock, piercing little holes in a pattern.  There are several heads available, each making a different shape on the paper.  I saw that a mat, made by them, helps the pokey things penetrate the paper easier, making the design look better.  So I got the mat.  They also had a ruler/guide that fit ‘around’ the mat so you could make sure you were making a straight line (if that’s what you wanted).  And a case to hold all your Sew Easy crap.  Check.  Check.  Check.  I found a list of all the heads available on their website then made a list on my phone of which ones I didn’t have.  This way, if I was in a store that carried them, I would know which ones I needed.  I quickly realized that all the heads didn’t fit in the case.  I didn’t want another case (it had room for their ruler, their scissors, etc.  Hearing my cry, they came out with a ‘head case’ for the extra heads.  I, of course, bought it…and EVERY head they made.  They even made a thingy that you can put a head on so that instead of a straight line, the pattern is in a circle.  Got that.  Never used any of it.  Not even once.

I seem to have an addiction to paper and card stock.  I will buy some because it is appropriate for an event (i.e. I really do need it), but mostly because it’s pretty, I’ve never seen any like it before, it’s on sale, I had a coupon, I only needed two sheets and don’t want to look like a bonehead, it came in a set, etc.  When I get home, I quickly put each sheet where it goes.  I have a file that is called “What the F Was I Thinking?” because there was no other explanation for the paper in there.

I could go on and on, but y’all get the idea.  I looked around online, trying to find a name for this condition, but there isn’t one.  I am hereby declaring this condition Diva Disease.  You can refer to it as DD if you so desire.

Now, excuse me while I go try to decide which of my 100+ purses I will use tomorrow when my Super Hot Fiance takes me out for dinner.

  

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Comments on “What the F Was I Thinking?”

  1. Gina Reeves

    I have a bad habit of buying the Estee Lauder special gift sets with 48 eyeshadows plus 6 blushes, 4 lip sticks and lip and eye pencils. I NEED this! I can’t remember the last time I wore eyeshadow. I end up giving them away every year. I don’t know anyone who would wear it but I know I’ll give it away like I do every year.

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